Choco Taco I think I love u... maybe not...

So I started seeing that the choco taco was back on the market. Maybe it never left, I don't know... In any event I wanted one but never felt the time was right. Somehow in my mind it was some kind of magical food item that I remembered taco bell selling in my childhood. That should have been my first clue... Well I'm on the road for work and just visited the lobby store in my hotel and there it was! And. After a week of successful meetings it was finally time to make my dreams a reality. I'm sad to report its not very good. Like its half eaten, melting in my waist basket not very good. The shell is a kind of mushy walfel cone thing with vanilla and chocolate icecream stuffed inside. Oh well all dreams can't come true...

The King Of The Monsters (1991)

Game: The King of the Monsters

Time to complete: 80min

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Difficulty:7

Fun:5

Rating on a 1-10 scale

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Giant monsters attack Tokyo (the game)! Welcome to the King of the Monsters review. I just finished playing through this title in 2 player mode with my brother-in-law. The storyline is pretty simple and well known. Giant monsters are attacking Japan for total domination. You can chose from one of six characters to play as, a bug man, super hero man, rock man, dinosaur man, toxic waist man, and ape man. They have names but I'm too lazy to look them up right now. Graphically and audio wise the game has a very nice overall feel. One of my favorite aspects is the VO clips that play throughout the game from the local TV station reporting on the devastation.

Gameplay wise it's fairly unique for the Neo Geo. It's essentially a wrestling game that takes place within, or should I say on top of, six different Japanese cities. Each city is detailed and interactive. You can do cool things like pick up buildings and throw them at your opponent. There is also a military in town that continuously tries to save their city by shooting at you and your opponent. Sounds great right? Well then you get to the actual fighting mechanics. Maybe with repeated play you start to get the hang of it but there is nothing intuitive going on here. Even after 12 levels of play, both Bobby and I still felt like we were just bashing buttons. It's really a shame considering everything else this game has going for it. Lastly this game does receive bonus point for actually having an ending that is not your typical half-assed "you win", "thanks for playing", "here are the credits".

So to wrap it up, I may find myself playing this game again in the future to see if I can get the hang of the controls but I'm not pressed. I remember really liking it as a kid but that may just be the JOLT cola talking...

Oh, I do love the box cover art!

Mutation Nation (1991)

Game: Mutation Nation

Time to complete: 60min

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Difficulty:5

Fun:7

Rating on a 1-10 scale

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Welcome to the Mutation Nation review! Made in 1991, what we have here is yet another side scrolling beat'em up from the good folks at SNK. This time around we are in the year "20XX" and the "City" has become a "SLUM" as the title sequence kindly lets you know in giant white letters. This is apparently due to some failed experiment, that besides the aforementioned poverty, has turned the cities fine residents into violent transforming mutants. Think of it as TMNT meets the Transformers. Your job? Stop the bad guy that is trying to take over the city. So safe to say your not playing this one for the storyline. 


Graphically its pretty typical, super saturated, early 90's neo geo fair with the exception of the detailed transformation animations. The music however is quite good and sets the mood nicely. The overall style of the game is similar to the Streets of Rage series. Gameplay is fairly fun, and unlike Burning Fight and Robo Army, you do get the sense that there is more to the game then just hitting the attack button as fast as posible. The power up system is pretty cool too and brings a fair amount of strategy to the game. You collect different types of powers that each come with 3 uses that can be very helpful.


Enemy wise the game is also pretty sweat, but unfortunately it does fall victim to one of my growing pet peeves, the old "fight all of the level bosses over again on the last stage" gag. Oh SNK why must you be so lazy...


In conclusion I like this game and I will happily recommend it. It's a solid early entry in the Neo Geo library.

The Neo Geo Song

It's this kind of thing that makes me happy the internet exists...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_kGJBv6Wr4

Robo Army (1991)

Game: Robo Army

Time to complete: 45min

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Difficulty:4

Fun:6

Rating on a 1-10 scale

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I didn't own or play this game as a kid to my knowledge. It's on of those Neo Geo games that I've always been interested in due to mostly to its visuals. The story involves a evil head that wants to turn the world into a robotic play-land or something. The aforementioned evil head has sent his legion of evil robots into town to do just that and only you and player 2 can stop him! That's about it for the story. At the start of every new level, he will warn you about the repercusiones for trying to stop him. It's one of those moments when I wonder if there has ever been someone so timid that they have been warned and decided they better stop playing or else. There are also the usual SNK bites on CAPCOM...

looks like someone at SNK has been playing...

Strider...

Anyway I digress, for a title made in 1991 the graphics are quite nice, specifically the design style of the futuristic backgrounds. Sound is pretty good and the voice is the same exact one used in Baseball 2020. Gameplay is typical side scrolling beat'em'up fair from the early 90's. There is really not a whole hell of allot strategy to be used, and the game has a weird power-up system that uses the same button as Kick so once you use up your power-ups you can kick as well as punch the enemy. Odd. But not as odd as the fact that you can turn into a car!

Thats you, the Pink Car Thing...

The game is pretty easy but is worth a play. I can't say that you will want to ever play it again but for one hour of your life I can think of worse things to play, cough, Burning Fight, cough...

The Super Spy

Game: The Super Spy

Time to complete: 2h 30min

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Difficulty:5

Fun:7

Rating on a 1-10 scale

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Welcome to The Super Spy! There is nothing "Spy" about it! But it sure is "Super". I've always liked this game and after playing through it again I still do which is nice :) The story you ask? Save the world from the Terrorists! Next to saving the princess, it's one of my favorits. I'm not sure where the "Spy" concept came from though. Your goal is simply to kick ass, no sneaking around required. I guess "Super Comando" was already taken...

This game has to be one of the first "First Person Shooters" ever made. It came out a full 2 years before Castle Wolfenstein 3D and certainly is one of the few 2D FPS ever made.  It pre-dates Crossed Swords by a year but has a very similar gameplay concept. The game takes place in 2 buildings. The first of which is the factory where "The Terrorists" have take over to get the "Bombs". It has 4 or 5 floors and you essentially fight waves of enemies in a series of corridors as you make your way through each floor. The cool thing here is that there are rooms in the corridors you can enter to either fight more enemies, get tips, health, or the bad ass machine gun. You can also control which way you move through the corridors and there are points where you can chose which way you want to go.

Once you make it through the factory you learn that the "Terrorists" have made off with some of the "Bombs" and are headed to the automotive company? I'm not sure what they have against a car manufacture, but hey, terrorists don't tend to be the most clear headed folks. Anyhow the automotive building is much larger then factory. I believe it's 16 floors. Overall its more of the same but the floors introduce dead ends and there are 6 "Terrorist Bosses" waiting to take you on.

Gameplay wise it's a little simpler then Crossed Swords in that you can only duck but you do have the choice of fighting with guns, a knife, or your fists. The waves of bad guys do get a little dull at points but one of my favorite aspects of the game is all of the crazy color combinations they come up with for the same 4 enemies. There are points later in the game where terrorists in Hot Pink spandex with Day Glow Orage head wraps are the norm. Hard to beat that.

In closing The Super Spy is a fun and very original title that I will always enjoy chewing through every once and a while.

Burning Fight

Game: Burning Fight

Time to complete: 1h 30min

Rating on a 1-10 scale

Difficulty:3

Fun:3

Burning Fight, wait...that looks allot like...

...Final Fight

Where to start with this one...
Ok I owe a big "You were right and I was wrong" to my buddy Brian. For years he has referred to this game as being crap. I, for some unknown reason, disagreed. I had some odd impression that it was actually a positive take on the "Final Fight" side scrolling beat'em up. What I have now come to tearms with is that this game is nothing more then a shameless, plagiaristic copy of the fore mentioned game. When I say "shameless" what I really mean is pathetic, lame, poor, crappy, etc...


Ok to the review. As I've stated in the open this game is really nothing more then a shameless clone of final fight. Now you may say, "well lots of games of that era took their cues from Final Fight due to it's comercial success" and I agree. There are a wide number of games that I love that owe allot to Capcom's Final Fight. The fundamental issue here is that we are not talking about a game that leveraged the concepts Final Fight presented, and builds upon them. What we are talking about is a game that literally tries to recreate Final Fight with just enough alteration to not spend the next decade in court.


Beyond the Final Fight issues the game is just not that much fun. The graphics and animations are OK. Music is so so and the levels are pretty bland. Beyond the elevator and subway stages there is not much in terms of creativity and what is there is is straight up stolen. This game heavily relies on making you fight the same enemies, albeit in different colors, in addition to a end level that makes you fight all of the earlier bosses over again, which is a real pet peeve of mine.


In closing I strongly recommend you play this game. Really I do! The trick is to also play through Final Fight. Only then, as I did, will you realize the true glory of Burning Fight. Every thing that Final Fight did well, Burning Fight somehow manages to take and make bad. This is truly, in my humble opinion, SNK saddest hour...